January 20, 2004
Wacko
Jacko put this man out of work. There he was, making a perfectly fine living just looking like Michael Jackson, and now nobody wants him since the real Jackson got busted on child molestation charges again. Who is gonna hire this guy for their kid’s birthday party now?
A little over a decade ago Marcia Clark was the tough, but not tough enough, Prosecutor in the O.J. Simpson trial. Now she is working as a reporter for Entertainment Tonight covering the Michael Jackson beat. Is absolutely everybody in showbiz now or what?
We might as well get ready for it. This thing is going to be big. By next month, every news networks and half the cable channels will be "All Michael, All the time." Even though they deny it, CNN, in particular, claims it will stay "on course" covering the news without stooping to sensationalism. Ya sure.
And now, thanks to the February edition of Esquire Magazine, here are a few Jackson Jokes:
Q: Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of the Boy Scouts?
A: He was up to two packs a day.
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite college?
A: Brigham Young
Q: What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: I believe you're in my son.
But seriously folks, I had a conversation with a young lady friend of mine the other day who defends Jackson with the same old line, "You know he never really had a childhood." Let's get over that one. The guy is 45-years old! Maybe when he was twenty he could have a childhood till he was thirty, or even thirty five but come on, he's heading toward the fifty mark. This story is getting really old. In fact so is this one.
I can’t help but wonder if Michael Jackson's parents ever ask themselves, "What did we do to make him this screwed up?" Most parents would, but I guess not if your son is your cash cow.
Jackson goes back to court on Febuary 13th. That is a Friday. One thing’s for sure, it is going to be a circus. And what is a circus without a freak show?
Short Takes
• On a lighter note, Slim Whitman celebrates his 80th birthday today, January 20th. The country yodeler became a cult favorite on Cable TV back in the late 70s with his 1-800 number offering his Greatest Hits album. You remember the one: "He has sold more records than Elvis and The Beatles.” Back then, Slim was a fixture of commercial breaks on TBS. When we launched "Tush", we thought it would be great to have him as the first guest on the debut episode. At long last, everyone got to hear him warble more than just a few bars of his multi-million selling "Rosemarie."
• Finally, The WB has announced that next season it will air shows that have never been seen before. They will be running this seasons shows again.
• Hey, if you’re not tired of me yet check out moviecitynews.com.
January 07, 2004
Along Came Polly
The big holiday movie rush is over and now the slow month of January is upon us film fans. This week’s Newsweek (January 12th) magazine has a little blurb on page 53 about how the first month of the year is where all the studios dump the films they don't have much faith in. One of them is Along Came Polly starring Ben Stiller and Jenifer Aniston.
I have a bet with a radio DJ in Kalamazoo, Michigan that the film will tank because all the jokes are in the trailer. Don't you hate it when that happens? Even Ben's big riotous bathroom scene is in the trailer. Gee! That kind of humor is usually kept under wraps.
Besides nobody can ever beat Jeff Daniels in "Dumb and Dumber." His bathroom problems ranks, and rank is a good word here, with some of the greatest scenes in film history. I hope I'm wrong about "Polly". Ben could use a hit. Remember him and Drew Barrymore in "Duplex?" I didn’t think so.
SJP & SITC
Certainly the big television news last week was the premier episode of Sex and the City now in its final season. To mark the occasion, Sarah Jessica Parker and co-stars have been gracing publications everywhere in their designer threads and Jimmy Choos. Well, here's an old shot of Sarah looking a lot less glamorous.
At the time this was taken, SJP was doing an independent film in which she played a children’s television show host. Man, this outfit would never work on "Sex and the City”. We went on location to interview her but, sad to say, the film never came out. Maybe that’s a good thing. I, by the way, adore Sarah Jessica and we have had many great conversations over the years.
Casey Kasim
Hey, I'm covering all media here. Now on to radio as we say goodbye to Casey Kasim's voice on American Top Forty. Always a gentleman, Kasim was told early in his career he needed a gimmick. After giving it some thought, he came up with the idea of giving little tid-bits about the records he played. That "gimmick" has kept him on Top Forty since 1970.
Funny story. Casey was part owner of the building on Sunset and Vine in Hollywood where CNN was located. One day I ran in to him at the elevator and asked what he was doing in the building. His answer, and I'm not kidding, came in that distinctive Casey Kasim delivery, "Bill, we're replacing the windows and doing some painting. We’re going to start on the first floor and work our way to the top." Don't think we have heard the last of Casey, his voice will be around for a long time, especially on Scooby-Doo.
Here is Casey, his statuesque wife Jean, with me and an unidentified friend left holding the bag. This was at the Plaza Hotel in New York.
Short Takes
• Civil rights icon, Rosa Parks, the lady who refused to give up her seat on the bus and basically got the who movement going, is suing OutKast. The 90 year old Parks claims the hip hop duo used her name in one of their songs. Back in the seventies actor Cary Grant filed suit against Chevy Chase for referring to him as gay on a Saturday Night Live Update segment. Chase's lawyer said, “Let him sue. By time it gets to court he'll be dead”. Sure enough, Cary passed on and the lawsuit died with him. OutKast might think about that one.
• My old boss and hero Ted Turner might just be the only person on the planet grateful for Mad Cow Disease. After all, his restaurant chain Ted's Montana Grill serves Buffalo.
• And what’s all the fuss about Britney Spears boozing it up and getting married on the spur of the moment? Hey, I've done it myself a couple of times.